My spiritual journey had been filled with potholes and bumps, and the past years had been especially challenging. I got in a wrong relationship. I lived in sin for many years. I got distracted by a whole lot of worldly pursuits and desires, and I worshiped many gods. I placed my real God on the sideline.
All my sins kept me from turning back to God, and all my efforts to search for Him had been almost in vain. But, He never gives up. In 2011, He opened a door that allowed me to belong to a community that would strengthen my faith. And, He gave me the grace to finally break free from the relationship that I was in.
And now, after everything that happened, only one challenge remains - reconnecting with God on an intimate level. I used to enjoy a very close relationship with Him before, but that ended when everything that happened... happened. Now I feel I'm starting over, but I'm having a hard time re-establishing a personal relationship with God. The process is a struggle, and I often feel like I'm not worthy, that I'm losing it.
But, truly His grace never ceases. Before 2011 ended, I met with a good friend who reminded me all about the grace and the miracle and the love of God. And I realized then, God has never abandoned me all this time. That He is there all along. That He has not given up on me. Despite feeling for a long time that my efforts to search for Him were in vain, I now know that He remains faithful to me, that His love endures.
And as the year 2012 opens, I am once again filled with hope. I feel so blessed knowing that God is still there, that He will always be there for me, and that He is waiting for me to come back to Him. His grace never ends, and He knows I need to be reminded of this - thus the angel He sent in the form of a friend.
Thank you Lord. I love you. I promise to do better this year.
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