3 Lessons From the Captain

Source

Before I had a chance to watch The Dead Poets' Society, I thought it was just some random movie about characters from ancient times, relieving ages past and this world's former glory. But, what I found is a truly meaningful movie that has touched me deeply, made me cry, and made me rethink about teaching (I'm a non-practicing teacher, by the way).

The movie tells of the experiences of Mr. John Keating (so called 'Oh Captain, My Captain' among his students), an English Literature teacher at the Welton Academy who did not only teach his students literature but also taught them to live their life to the fullest. The movie is filled with lessons that will surely inspire teachers, and I have listed three of them here.

1. Carpe diem. That was the first lesson he taught his students: to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary. To live fully, to live extremely and with passion, to 'sound [their] barbaric yawps over the rooftops of the world.'

I think that 'carpe diem' actually involves a couple of steps. First, it requires discernment... In order to let one understand what seizing the day means for him personally, to bring light to that which his heart conceals. Then, only then can he realize whatever it is he must seize, whatever it is that his heart longs for, whatever it is that will lead his life to its purpose. Second, it requires courage - courage to follow through on whatever he finds. Because finding it without doing anything to fulfill it is torture.

For a teacher of students who are yet on their path to finding whatever it is they want to be in life, the significance of this lesson can never be stressed enough. We must not only let our students learn their Algebra or Physics or grammar, but we must also allow them to discover their passion. And when they do, we must give them room to explore it, exploit it, breathe its essence into their very soul - until they feel the fire in their life, until they feel they are truly alive.

2. The important lessons are not in the book. The Captain was teaching literature. However, instead of asking his students to study the poems and examine them, as had been advised in their textbook, he helped them appreciate it. He went as far as asked each of the students to rip out the introduction in the book, which supposedly provided guidelines on 'measuring' a poem. With this he did not agree, and thus he asked each student to rip out the pages. In his teachings, there were also several chapters in the book that he skipped. And, he conducted his lessons not only inside the classroom but also outside - in the courtyard, in the hallways, even in the football field as they played sport while reciting verses.

In teaching his students to appreciate poetry, he let the words flow from their tongue, into their ears and through their whole being. He turned poems into food for the soul, something to savor and taste and feel - words that are not only confined inside the classroom but words that actually live amongst his students, fueling the fire that inspired them to live their life passionately.

It has always been a challenge for teachers to bring their lessons from within the pages of a textbook and into actual experiences that students can truly appreciate. It's easier to stick to what is already there, written, ready for students to digest. But, as Mr. Keating has demonstrated, real teaching involves encouraging students to think for themselves. And in accordance with this, he encouraged his students to widen their minds by trying to see things from a different perspective (even if that means climbing a desk) and learn new lessons outside the classroom - a good example for today's teachers.

3. Find your own voice. The Captain demonstrated this in a simple exercise that he let his students perform outside the classroom - he asked three students to walk around together. While they started walking at their own pace and style, soon they were walking together following a single rhythm, with their classmates clapping with the beat. With this he explained how it was easy for people to follow and conform, but that it has its dangers. He then proceeds to encourage everyone to walk together but at their own pace, with their own stance and posture, the way they want to walk without considering how others are doing it. It was this idea, the idea of encouraging students to find their own voice and not to simply conform to the standards, which brings Mr. Keating in conflict with the administration, which believes that the curriculum, whatever has already been set in place, should not be questioned.

I guess this is the general atmosphere in today's academic institutions, many of which are trying to create a controlled environment that will facilitate learning. I know that this kind of system works, but I guess the problem has something to do with how much space we give our students when it comes to the development of independent thinking, how much leeway we offer for making mistakes, and how much encouragement we reserve for those who dare to be different.

John Keating: I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
Nolan: At these boys' age? Not on your life!

Nolan could have a point there. He could be right believing that the boys may not yet know what's right for them and what's not, but we cannot deny these boys the right to their own dreams, the right to finding their passion. And yes, they might find something unexpected, out of the plan, scary even, during their search within themselves - one student, Neil, for instance, found his love for acting, which was on a world totally opposite the dream that his parents had for him, which was to be a doctor. And who's to say who's right - the parents or the child? Was that dream the real dream, the one worth pursuing? Or was it a passing fancy that would end as soon as it came? Whatever that is, I guess we just have to trust the child to find his heart's desire, maybe not now, maybe not so soon, but we must trust that he will. By following his own path. By listening to his heart's own voice. By braving the world out there.

More quotable quotes from the movie HERE.

Eight Gadgets You Should Have in Your Bag: On Commercialism and Materialism

1. Tablet

2. Smartphone

3. GPS

4. Digital Camera

5. MP3 Player

6. Pedometer

7. Portable Alarm

8. Hard Disk

(Complete post is HERE.)

Okay, let me start by saying that I am not against gadgets and I don't intend to be righteous in any way in this post. But, I just have to say that I felt a bit incredulous reading the list of gadgets enumerated in the article. Really, do we need all these in our daily work or schedule?

I know for one that if I get a good smartphone, I won't need the following:

a. Tablet - unless I do a lot of reading and I find the screen of the smartphone too small.
b. Digital camera - unless I am an avid photographer, in which case I'll just get a DSLR. For ordinary picture-taking, however, smartphones produce photos that are just as good in quality compared to those produced by many digital cameras.
c. MP3 player - with sufficient memory in a smartphone, I can have enough space to accommodate all my music.

There are even apps that can incorporate GPS and pedometer in phones, so there's really no need to get these separate devices (unless I travel a lot - for the GPS - and unless I'm a serious fitness enthusiast - for the pedometer).

Portable alarm? Sure, I can have that. And hard disk, yes, I'll definitely need that.

I understand some of the gadgets enumerated in the article are a must, but most of them are simply impractical. I guess the point I'm making here has something to do with what the article wants to imply in its introduction when it said: "You’re constantly on the go, hard working, and confident. Which is why you will need the right gadgets to help make modern life less complicated and more functional for you! Here are eight important gadgets we think all new age girls (that’s you!) should have."

This is not the first time I encounter posts that equate the life of modern women (note: new age girls) and their confidence to gadgets and possessions. I believe the post is too materialistic. Please stop promoting the idea that worth = possession (because that is what this article is doing, even without blatantly showing it). And please be realistic. You say "... you will need the right gadgets to help make modern life less complicated and more functional..."

But really, won't all of those gadgets in your bag actually make your life complicated instead of simplifying it? Just my two cents here.

The Greatest Fear

I wish I can be there
Before the time you go
So I can hold your hand
And tell you I love you so.

Repost: The Way We Are

Can we really know a person – for real? I mean, is it possible to really know a person? Or are we the only people who know ourselves (or, do we even know ourselves like we think we do)? The latter is beside the point, so let’s not digress.

If only we know the reality about the people we care about, if only the cloak of mystery that surrounds every human being will be removed, I guess it would be easier to deal with people. There’s no need to pre-judge a person… no need to act so cautiously thinking that we might be doing the wrong thing and the person might react negatively to what we do (no matter how innocent or sincere our intention)… no need to second guess, wonder, and suffer trying to decipher the mind of a person just so we’ll know how to react the right way to that person.

Why do we really need to put on masks? I guess because we’re afraid of the world. Because of our need to conform. Because of the fear that the world will not like what they see when we reveal ourselves.

But, recent events have showed me just how unhealthy this part of human nature is. Because of the masks that people around us wear, we are unable to relate to them in the best way we can. And because of the masks that we ourselves wear, we deprive ourselves of the chance to be really seen, and to be liked the way we are. And this makes everything complicated.

Yes, we become vulnerable by revealing ourselves – whether it’s to the people we deal with everyday or, yes, to that person we care about so much. We might get hurt. Our dignity and pride might be trampled.

But, what about the rewards? What about the possibility of being liked and loved just the way we are? What about the possibility that the person we care about so much will reciprocate the feelings that we have? These are only possibilities, but don’t they hold promise?

Thoughts on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult lessons to learn. It’s easy to understand in theory, but the hardest part comes in the application.

We know we need to forgive. We know we need to forget. We know we need to move on. But we can’t. Why?

Because the pain is still there? Because we want something to hold on to? Because we are still thinking about revenge? Because we want the person to feel the pain that we have felt in the past? All these are possible reasons.

But one truth remains: the failure to forgive can consume our whole being until it eats at the positive values that we keep inside our hearts. When we fail to forgive, we lock ourselves within that particular time that has caused us pain. Forgiveness is the only key that will open the door so that we can move on.

What People Say

It doesn’t matter what people tell you… What matters is what they say about you behind your back.

But then again, you can’t really control the mind of other people. You have no control over their opinion of you. No matter what you do, there will always be people who will judge and misinterpret your actions. So why worry?

If you know you’re doing the right thing, don’t bother yourself about other people’s opinion. After all, pleasing others is a goal that’s doomed from the very start.

11 Things You Should Stop Saying To Introverts by MADISON MOORE (And yes, because I am an introvert)

1. Why are you so quiet? Oh yeah? Well why are you always rolling around yapping your pie hole and acting like gorilla all the time. Getting asked why introverts are “so quiet” is really annoying, but it just underscores how much value people place on talking and filling up the air with meaningless sound.

2. You must not but that smart — I mean, you never say anything in class. Introverts are quiet because we don’t find value in idle conversation, talking for the sake of talking. We may not raise our hands right away, but it doesn’t mean we’re not processing ideas in our own way. We have lots to say about stuff because we are always thinking.

3. You need to get out more. Extroverts think that introversion is something that can be fixed by simply throwing yourself out there, like maybe if you had three more Appletini’s than everybody else you’ll be cured once and for all. But going out more isn’t always the answer, especially when you can enjoy a nice quiet evening at home with your books or video games or Netflix or porn or whatever it is you like to enjoy.

4. Don’t worry about her/him. She/he’s just really shy. But being shy and being an introvert aren’t the same thing. Some introverts love going out and being social, but then we need some time to ourselves to regroup and to “come down” from the experience, so to speak. Getting out more isn’t the answer. You just need to accept the fact that sometimes we feel like being out and sometimes we don’t. No explanation needed.

5. SPEAK UP. No, you lean in and listen carefully to what we are saying.

6. Are you OK? Because introverts are often quiet and drawn into our own thoughts, extroverts think that we are always mad or upset or sad about something. But we are FINE!

7. Why do you hate people so much?

8. Do you have any friends? You’re always alone.

9. Are you mad at me? This one is slippery, because people do deal with being mad at someone in a variety of ways, including not talking to them. But in general, we’re not mad or upset, unless you’re feeling guilty because you know you did something wrong.

10. You’re going home already? We just got here!

11. You are so boring. Look, people enjoy different kinds of stimulation. If you want to be friends with or date someone who you think is “boring” because their lifestyle doesn’t match yours, then you should probably try harder to understand them or compromise with them at the very least. That or find somebody who matches your constantly riveting rhythm.

SOURCE HERE

Philippine Election 2013: Experiences and Insights

The recent election is no different from the previous ones. There's been so much buzz going on in the web and outside of the internet. There'd been too much noise caused by campaign jingles and debates, too many clutter caused by posters, flyers, and other campaign materials. And now, everyone is waiting for the election results. Although unofficial results are already in and counting for the official results is on the way (and more or less, we already have an idea as to who's in and who's not), many of us are still hoping for some sort of miracles.

I, for one, am hoping for one miracle. I only voted for 4 senatorial candidates, and my top Senator is Dick Gordon. Unfortunately, results show that he's only #13 in ranking, and only the Top 12 will be in. I NEED MY MIRACLE!

Anyway, here are some of my personal experiences during the previous election:

1. Vote buying. Everybody knows it's illegal, but it happens. In fact, families in our barangay received sample ballots from candidates, which contain a list of the endorsed candidates (from Senator to City Councilor) plus a neatly folded 200php enclosed in the ballot. And it's just one of the many. It's a sad reality, and it happens election after election.

2. People selling their votes. This is an even sadder reality. It's one thing to receive money from a running candidate, and it's another thing to vote for a candidate just because that candidate distributed a higher amount of money than his rival (yes, there are cases when all running candidates buy vote - the difference is the amount they shell out for the vote). It has become a business for some people during election. In fact, in some communities that I know, it has become a source of neighborhood conflict.

There's this one municipality with two candidates running for Mayor. Both candidates assign so-called 'leaders' in various barangays, and these 2 leaders have a list of names of all the voters in their community. Based on that list, the candidates will release a certain amount of money to the leaders, to be distributed to the voters in their community. However, there are times when a leader in one community will choose to keep the money and not distribute it. People will start asking: "Where is our money?" (Yes, there's this prevailing idea in the community that the people are entitled to that money). Then, leaders will start pointing fingers. Sometimes, they will tell people that their name is not included in the list, so there's no money for them. And then after the election, accusations fly and some even say that a candidate did not win because his chosen leader did not distribute the money to the people in the community. As if the vote is entirely dependent on the money.

Sadder reality? Yes. And to quote the Filipino saying, "May manloloko kasi may nagpapaloko."

3. Political dynasty beginning at the lowest level. I know of someone who is a barangay official and whose term is about to end. His family members are looking for someone (from the family) to replace him. They are convincing potential candidates from family and relatives to run in the coming local election. The one doing the 'recruitment' was even heard saying: "If I don't find someone from the family to replace him (the outgoing official), then I am the one who will run." Never mind whether the replacement is qualified or not. Never mind whether he will make for a good official or not. The important thing is that there is a replacement from the family.

We call for change on a national level. We call for the Binays, the Estradas, the Marcoses, and the many other political families to take shame and stop political dynasty, but I guess we must first look into our own small communities and address the problem right there.

The election process is about to end, and we are all about to start in our new journey with 12 new (or not so new) senators at the helm. All of us Filipino citizens have been given a chance to take control in electing 12 leaders, but that chance is now gone. Complaining about the election results and criticizing those who are elected will not do us any good. (I also complained loudly when I saw the initial results, but I realized it's out of my hands now.)

To all those who voted, congratulations for exercising your right. And if our chosen candidates will not make it, let's hope and pray that those elected will be able to do their job well and let's do our part in making our country better. Let's stop the criticisms; all these can possibly do is distract the elected candidates from the job that is waiting for them, and we do not want that to happen. We want them focused and determined. Let's give these candidates a chance.

And to all those who did not vote, please stop complaining. You say you're paying taxes, too, so you have the right to complain. But guess what, paying taxes is not your only obligation. Participating in the election is also your obligation (it's not only a right; it's an obligation, too). Your not voting automatically means that you surrender the decision-making to those who are voting and you will respect WHOEVER is elected.

After all of this, whoever is elected, we must all know that this is not the end of it all. Our leaders make up just one part of the whole; the remaining part is made up of all the Filipinos. And in the end, the future of our country will depend on the collaborative efforts of our leaders and ourselves. Our leaders may not be perfect, but we can always make up for their imperfections - one person at a time, one small effort at a time.

Boracay Summer 2013

Summer is never complete without the beach, and I already have my dose of the beach this summer - just came back from a 4-day trip to Boracay with my girlfriend last last week.

Hello, Boracay!

Highlights of the trip:

1. White sand beach. Just as advertised. Just as expected. Love it!
2. Parasailing and helmet diving. Tried these two activities for the first time. Awesome!
3. Fire dancers. Finally saw them for real, and they're great!
4. Great food! We loved the tapa at the Boracay Beach Resort, the crab at the Hampstead (though it was a bit pricey), the Jonah's shake, and especially Boracay's chori burger (we wanted to bring some to Manila, but we weren't able to).
5. Cliff diving. We went to Ariel's Point, a place featuring this activity (they have cliffs of different heights), but we weren't able to dive because we got so engrossed with snorkeling and didn't thought the tour would end earlier than we expected. :(

Sand castles in front of the Diamond Hotel, Station 1, Boracay.

Some interesting facts:

1. People in the island (and maybe the local government as well) are promoting the name Boracay. So Boracay, please, not Bora. :)
2. Generally the whole of Boracay (Stations 1 to 3) lie in a single stretch on the shore - you can walk the beach from one end to another, although I would advise not doing the Station 3 at night because there are areas with no lamp posts and are therefore dark.
3. There are many aetas in certain parts of Boracay. Some of them are asleep on the sand, with plastic glass or some sort of container beside them. Visitors and tourists would sometimes drop coins on the glasses, but I hope the local government would do something to help them.
4. And speaking of Koreans, many of the tourists when we went there were Koreans. They equal (or even outnumber) Western tourists. Yey for Philippine tourism!

In the background: Paraw boats

I won't do a detailed account here as I would reserve that post in my travel blog. If you want some guide in visiting Boracay (itinerary, budget, some pointers, etc.), you can head HERE. I'll be posting about our Boracay trip soon.

Holy Week in Bicol: Family Time

Back to the city, back to work.

And the supposedly four days of my Bicol vacation was extended to five days - there were no more bus tickets available during the day of my planned trip back here in Manila, so I had to leave the following day, which isn't a bad thing, by the way, because I was able to spend a longer time with my family.

Anyway, some of the things I planned I was able to do, but not all of them. I was not able to join any Holy Week activity; wasn't even able to visit a new place. I went out only once to see my sister in Legazpi, visit my family in Albay, and buy some stuff for our planned gathering.

Most of my vacation was spent in Pandan with my grandparents and my family during our get together to celebrate the birthday of many family members - Lolo, Papa, Mama, and two of my brothers (all March celebrants). My sister, who has been staying in a police camp since last year, was able to go out for the Easter, although for only 24 hours. That gathering was one of the few instances we're able to get together completely as a family (three families, actually).

Now that I'm away from them, it's things like this that I frequently miss. But anyway, I'll be back next month for the election. Until next time, Bicol! :)

Hello, Long Weekend! (Holy Week Celebration)

Tomorrow is the last working day before the long weekend in celebration of the Holy Week 2013. And, tomorrow after work, I'll be off to Bicol to spend the holidays with my family. It will only be a four-day vacation, but I'm excited because this will be the first time I'll go home to Bicol this year (after my Christmas-New Year vacation).

I only went home thrice last year, and that's the average number during the past years. At the beginning of this year, one of the goals I'd written down was to go home more frequently this year (at least five times, with this schedule as the first one). I'm just so happy I'm able to stick to it despite some irregularities and hurdles. And right now, I'm just so excited to go home and see my family, especially my grandparents.

I won't be having a lot of 'gala' this Holy Week; I want to observe a quiet Holy Week at home. I'll just stay in Pandan most of the time and celebrate Lolo's birthday on the 29th, go out only once to see my family in Albay on the 30th (and also celebrate Papa's birthday), go to church (must not forget this), get my return ticket (I hope I won't have a hard time finding a reservation, with all the vacationers returning home after the Holy Week), and visit at least one place (I'm not yet sure which place, let's see).

For some ideas on things to do in Albay this Holy Week, I created a post last week - here. Not sure which of them I'll have the chance to do this Holy Week, maybe the Kawa Kawa trip, though I'm not yet sure. I feel like I have only a short time, and I want to spend most of it at home with my family. I'll post updates when I return.

Happy long weekend, everybody! Have a meaningful Holy Week celebration!

Of Time and Urgency

It was Sunday last week, and I just came from church early morning. I was walking home when I chanced upon an old lady near the Mandaluyong Circle. She was an abandoned Lola, and I'd seen her several times in that same spot - sitting, with a lot of stuff around her, maybe her personal belongings. It was obvious she was a 'palaboy' by the way she looked. She had things inside what I seem to remember as plastic bags, and she had food. I'd seen her a few times there while I was riding the jeepney going home.

I'm used to seeing beggars and abandoned people in various areas - kids, adults, old men and women. With the prevalence of people like them, I have to admit there are times when I look at them and consider the overall situation normal. There are a few instances, though, which move me and awaken me to action. That chance encounter with that old lady is one of them.

When I saw her, her head was bowed and she was looking at something on the ground. As I got closer to her while walking, I saw she had a lot of food (a lot of rice and some kind of viand, I guess), only it was obvious they were already spoiled. There were flies and other insects feasting on them. As I got closer, I saw what she was looking at - some leaf (looked like a piece from a banana leaf) with several stuff on them. I could not tell what those were, but they looked like pieces of plants (or were they scraps of food? I could not tell). She was sort of arranging those, and her hand was trembling while doing so. I had a glimpse of her face, which I was able to see just a little bit because it was a bit covered by her hair, and I saw that she was talking (or mumbling) and she was crying. 

The first thing that came to mind when I saw that complete scene was what we used to do as kids - playing 'bahay bahayan'. We pretended to be eating and serving food, and I thought that might be what the woman was doing, pretending or imagining that she was with someone else (a child, maybe, a husband, a family?) and she was serving food... An escape from the cruel reality that she's living. And yet she was crying, probably because she was fully aware it was all pretend.

I passed by that woman, my heart catching in my throat. And while I continued my walk home, I felt some sort of force pulling me back. Some part of me wanted to help her, even just to talk to her, to comfort her, to let her feel that she wasn't so alone, that people notice, that people care. But, my own plans and activities for the day kept me walking farther from her.

And as I was walking away, so many thoughts and images were running in my head. I imagined what that woman might be feeling, that she would never see her family again, that she has no one, that it would be the kind of life she would have until the day she dies, and that she would continue with everyday without anybody caring, that she would die and nobody would care. The thoughts were a torture, and they carried on until I arrived home. And even as I pretended to be normal, they were at the back of my mind, until I had to will myself to stop thinking because the thoughts were too painful.

I vowed to do something, to help that woman in any way I can. I searched for homes for the aged online (found 3), jotted down their number, and called them one by one. I was only able to reach one of them, and the woman from the institution told me that I should contact the DSWD in our area as a concerned citizen, which will be the one to facilitate the process and find the right home for the aged for the old lady. I tried the number, but they could not be reached. I told myself to try again the next day, and maybe get a chance to talk to the old lady before doing that so I can have more details when I place my call.

That afternoon after work, I was with my girlfriend and we planned to check on the old lady. I brought a bottle of water, thinking that people usually dole out food to beggars but nobody seem to give them clean water for drinking. But, to my great disappointment, the lady was gone. She wasn't there in her spot anymore.

I felt extremely disappointed and guilty at the same time; I was too late. My girlfriend told me maybe somebody else helped her, and I could only wish that's true. I really hope somebody helped her.

And with that incident, I realized the importance of urgency in helping others, in doing good deeds. Because intentions are never enough until they are put in action. But by delaying actions, the intentions may no longer come to fruition. 

Sorry, Lola, I hope you are in a good place. 

And from now on, I vow to extend help whenever and wherever it is needed, in any way I can, with urgency and without delay.

Writing Once More

I've been in the Web Copywriting industry since 2006. And way before that, I'd always wanted to be a literary writer. Back in college, I used to write stories, poems, journal entries, personal essays, and other scribblings. And when the opportunity came to enter the writing world after graduation, I grabbed it.

That was 2006, seven years ago. In my work, I'd been exposed to SEO writing, keyword-optimized writing, blog writing, and other forms of web writing. I never thought I'd be writing about the things I've been writing the past years, but I did. And I learned new things, ventured into new territories, discovered some stuff. I went into freelance writing, on and off during the few years, and I liked the exposure that it offered. I liked the way it brought me to different fields. And while I was working and earning, I also learned.

During this time, though, I sort of put off my first dream - literary writing. I sort of lost the muse, lost the sensibility for the poetic and the dramatic and the ideal. And every time I would attempt to get into literary writing again, I would feel some sort of a block and continuing was really difficult. I've always planned to take a Creative Writing class, but I could not do it. The closest I was able to do was visit the school I was planning to enroll in and ask for an enrollment form and a list of requirements. But it was only up to that - I never did accomplish the requirements and never did enroll. And then I realized, it would be impossible to do things like that when I could not even write. I had no time for writing. And I had this writing book that I started reading many times, but during all those times I could not finish even the first chapter. Well, it's so easy to say that my busy schedule caught up on me, that work ate most of my time, and all that.

And then later on, work also ate much of my free time for freelance writing, and I gave up even that. And then later on, when I was given an editing and a leadership position at work, writing totally disappeared. Not that I did not like those positions - I loved them. They gave me new knowledge, new experiences, and I am particularly grateful for having the chance to handle a big group of people (15 teammates). I just realized one day that I'm not writing anymore - not for work, not for freelance, and not even for my dream. I could not maintain a blog anymore. I could not even write anything journal-ish (and I was a big journal writer way back).

And now, now that work is unstable and I get lots of free time (thanks, work! LOL), I decided to go back to writing. I started on the book that I'm reading (The Lie That Tells a Truth), and I am taking on freelance writing tasks again. I have two clients right now, both past clients, and I'm having a great time. I also have room for more clients, so hire me! :)

There are setbacks, yes, but everything is well all in all. And yes, I resurrected my blogs, did some rearrangements, and now I'm maintaining three of them - this blog and two other blogs I've long wanted to set up: a travel blog and an environment-focused blog, both of which I am highly passionate about.

Here's the link. Please visit them. :)

> Travel Blog --- http://in-the-footsteps-of-the-sun.blogspot.com/

> Environmental Blog --- http://green-and-orange.blogspot.com/

I'm also thinking about setting up a writing blog where I'll post all the literary pieces that I've written, but I'm not yet sure whether I'm ready to publish them for everyone to see. LOL. Let's see.

3 of 3 Series: 14 Lessons on Love, Loving, and Relationship

Here is the last post in the series that I started HERE.

-----

11. That love isn’t exclusive. Romantic love needs other kinds of love for it to grow. > I have always believed in keeping a separate, additional circle of people outside of our relationship circle. We need friends, family, and other individuals in our life. As for me, who has only a few people in my life and who strongly value my own time and space, I always try to spend time alone - to recharge and regenerate, and to do all the things that I can only really do when I am on my own. Given our nature to crave attachment, it can become a challenge and it may require discipline. I have found out, though, that the long-term benefits and satisfactions are worth it. Our time with others and with ourselves will give our relationships additional nourishment.

12. That we can let go and still love. That love sometimes means letting go. > If not love for the other person, at least love for ourselves. There are things that are bigger than relationships, and these things can also entail love - maybe a different kind of love, but love still. In my life, there are people that I have let go because I loved them enough to give them the chance to be independent and to enjoy the joys of maturity. There are people that I have let go because I loved myself enough to save me from the negative influences of the said people. And there are people that I have let go because I loved them enough to know that distance will be better over togetherness.

13. That true love is imperfect, but it can accept imperfections. > True love knows that none of us is imperfect. That one day soon, one of you will hurt the other (intentionally or not), that one of you will put his own interest over the interest of his partner (selfishness is innate, after all, and only discipline and strong will can combat it), that one of you will betray the other... At a certain point, both of you will have done a number of wrongs against each other. But true love will overlook the fault, or recognize it but forgive it. Because true love knows no matter how hard we try to be good, we fail. But, we continue trying.

14. That true love is still bound by reason, by the rules of right and wrong. And true love cannot bloom when it is wrong. > Now I strongly believe in this. In my situation right now, I'd say right and wrong aren't clear cut by definition. There are certain things that we believe to be right, regardless of their morality or immorality, and regardless of the beliefs of the people around us. There are issues of right and wrong that only our heart can discern. If something is wrong but which our heart believes to be right, who shall tell us off? In the end, it is us who deals with our conscience. I'd say the most important thing here is that we do not betray ourselves and our values.

-----

February is almost at an end, but true love is forever. True love is forever. :)

2 of 3 Series: 14 Lessons on Love, Loving, and Relationship

So here's the continuation to my post the other day - some lessons about love that I have written in 2011, and how my views about them have changed (or remained). The first part of this post is HERE.

-----

5. That we need to love ourselves before we can truly love others. > Some people say that true love is love that exceeds one's love for himself, but I do not believe that. Because true love can only come from a fulfilled person, and we can never be fulfilled if we lack self love. Others' love cannot sustain us if we don't have love for ourselves. And the absence of self love makes us incapable of loving others. Because loving others without loving ourselves... That is often motivated by our unconscious need to gain love. In this case, we give only because we hope to gain - to gain something that we cannot give to ourselves.

6. That true love isn’t all about the here and the now. It is made up of the past, the present, and the future all in one. > Loving here and now, regardless of the past and the future - this is one of the biggest misconceptions about love, and it is one misconception that has caused many people suffering. Loving requires acceptance (and not ignorance and neglect) of the past, as well as a look at the future. You love your partner, but he has always been an alcoholic in the past. You love your partner, but he cannot see himself settling at least in the next five years (whereas you plan to get married and see yourself settled in three years). These are practical things that can easily get lost amid feelings of passionate love. But then again, love isn't about the here and the now alone. Sooner or later, these realities will come haunting.

7. That friendship can sustain whenever love occasionally wanes. > I cannot stress enough the importance of being friends with our lover. Because sometimes, friendship becomes the only common ground left between two persons in a relationship whenever things become a little shaky. In the end, if everything doesn't work, friendship can be the only thing that remains. And yes, lucky are those people who are friends first before being lovers (lucky me in my present relationship), but that doesn't mean that those who become lovers first cannot be friends anymore. In fact, as a romantic relationship grows, friendship can grow along with it.

8. That without God, a relationship is doomed. > And it's difficult when one of you believes in Him, and the other doesn't. Heck, the fact is that there's difficulty even if both of you believe - if you don't have the same level of commitment in your faith. If you are the one with the stronger faith, you will most probably feel an obligation to carry the other (and that can be tiring, I tell you). Or, your partner might soon pull you away and cause you to slack off. Soon, guilt will probably eat at you. And if you don't handle that feeling well, you might end up resenting your partner for not supporting you, at the very least. As for me, I hope I don't end up that way. I'm still working on it, and God help me.

9. That love isn’t all about pleasure. It involves joy and pain and a whole mix of good and bad emotions that blend into each other to create the real experience of true love. > Most of us have an ideal picture of love, and I think there's nothing wrong with that ideal picture. After all, if we don't hope for the best when it comes to love, it won't be possible to hope for the best when it comes to anything else. This ideal picture may soon cause disappointment when we find out loving is not all rainbows and sunshine. But, all these can actually strengthen love in the end. In some instances, after all the experiences - both good and bad - most of us will look back and agree that it was better that we have loved, and lost (if that is the case), than not to have loved at all. The heartaches are often worth it.

10. That it’s passion which keeps a relationship interesting, but it’s love which keeps it lasting. > While passion can mean getting happy-crazy about the other person, or being head over heels in love, true love is not always about that. True love transcends all that. After all the buzz and the craziness, true love prevails. It can remain quiet, still, calm, but in those simple things it can be content. And when passion subsides, true love can carry us through.

-----

Lessons 11 to 14 will be posted next time. Happy reading! :)

1 of 3 Series: 14 Lessons on Love, Loving, and Relationship

I came across an old post while cleaning up and emptying my old blog - my Valentine post last February 2011. When I wrote that post, I was in a relationship. And now, a lot has already changed. 

I've broken up with my then boyfriend (after five years and five months of being together), enjoyed being single for almost a year, got involved with one of my girl friends, and now she's my girlfriend (we're turning one year this coming April).

Some of the experiences I've had since writing the said article have validated the lessons I included in the post while other experiences proved some of the lessons wrong. In this series of 3 posts, I will be posting the 14 lessons I enumerated and how my views about them have changed (or remained).

So, here it goes.

-----

Heart’s day is just around the corner, and there are already a lot of Valentine decorations around. So, I guess there’s no better post than something about – err, love – today. I’m not the type who goes all mushy over this topic. And for this occasion, let me simply post some random lessons that I have learned about love over the years. Here goes…

1. That love is love, only when it is allowed to grow naturally in the heart – no planning about it, no forcing it either. > I still agree. Love sometimes enters our life when we're most unprepared - no plans, no whatever agenda. And even as it starts to take control of our life, it's important that we do not rush things - that we think things over and over, that we take the time to see whether that love is bound to grow over time or whether it's bound to perish after a while. When the time is right, love will fully bloom.

2. That love needs to be nourished, cared for, looked after like a young plant in a garden. At. All. Times. Even the strongest of love needs tending. Otherwise, it dies a slow death. > Yes! No matter how strong love is, no matter how passionate, no matter how real, time (and the occasional storms) can tire it or wound it. And without utmost care, it may slowly wither (and we might not even notice until it's down to its last breath!). So I would say, loving needs conscious effort. Yes, it's easy to drown in the feeling when we're at the height of this emotion, but half the time, we need to make a conscious effort to make things work and drive things forward. With true love, this should be easy.

3. That love isn’t all about romance. It’s also about dreaming together, moving forward together, growing together, enriching each other in faith and in values – together. Without all these, love withers. > Now this one's difficult. Half the time, we find someone we love so much - only that person doesn't share all of our values. And that's okay. After all, we're all created to be distinct individuals. But, amidst all the differences, it takes real effort to find a common ground, some sort of balance, to keep things smooth and even. Because converting one person in the relationship into the beliefs and values of the other person doesn't work (especially if the reason for the conversion is wrong). So yes, we may have differences. But then again, it's important to make a conscious effort to thrive in a healthy, balanced relationship.

4. That true love isn’t blind. True love understands. True love knows. True love comes with awareness. > True. Even when we choose to get involved in a wrong relationship, we are aware. We know the consequences. We know the challenges. And we know we could end up in a mess. But, what we do is dig out the good possibilities from an ocean of bad possibilities. And even if we believe we've been blinded by love, the truth is that we only decided to close our eyes and plunge... Because there are risks worth taking when it comes to love.

---

I'll be posting the second part next time - Lesson 5 to 10.

Looking Back: Thankful for Work

I posted this in my old blog back in March 2011. A lot has already changed since then, but I think the things I realized that day still apply today.

-----

A great part of my life right now revolves around my profession – online writing. I work in a corporate setting, in an 8-5 (sometimes 7-4, or 9-6) job. I go to work in the morning, spend most of the 9 hours at work in front of the computer, my fingers typing away to the accompaniment of the click clack of the PC keyboard, and then get up and leave in the afternoon. I have had this schedule, with a few deviations and variations here and there, for the past four years and several months more or less.

I have to admit that most of my work has already become a routine over the years, and it’s not always great. Combine the monotony involved, its sedentary nature, and add in office politics – it isn’t always fun and exciting. There’s stress, mostly boredom, and the days when I dread getting up in the morning. There were days when I got disappointed because of expectations that didn’t happen or were not met, times when I felt I wasn’t being properly compensated for all my efforts, and days when I wanted to quit and find a new job.

But I stick – partly because I wasn’t serious about finding a new job, partly because I was afraid of a huge change, and partly because I know I’m doing a good work, even though I don’t always feel like it’s paying off.

Looking at everything now, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. After several years, even though my original excitement for work has already been tempered, I still manage to reach my goals, sometimes even exceed my expectations. Despite the monotony, I haven’t grown stagnant. I’ve never been a burden to my superior, to my colleagues, or to the company. After all these years, I can say that I have done my work well, and that I am a contributing member of the company that I work for. That I have earned my keep, that I am earning my keep. That I have been productive, and that I remain productive until now. And these, these are more important than the money I earn every 15th and 30th of every month.

I also have freelance work. I have clients more than I can handle on my own. I have a writer that I pay to help me with some of my projects. I am never idle, and for that I’m thankful. All these – they give meaning to my professional, and my overall, life.

Work is not always good, yes, but I am assured by the knowledge that I continue to grow in life through my work.

-----

It's almost two years since I posted this, and I'm thankful I have stayed. I now hold a supervisory position at work. I have handled as many as 15 people in a team, and we've had various accomplishments. And now, as things get a little shaky here, I'd like to have the same resolve I had back then - to stay a little bit longer and learn.

I’m Where God Wants Me to Be

I remember those words in the title from Tita Chay, our head at the Media Ministry back when I was still active at The Feast. There was an upcoming big event at church, but I could not attend and serve because I had to be somewhere else. When I told her about it, those words were her answer - you're where God wants you to be.

Right now, after the retrenchment here at work, with only 11 of us left in our team, and with us asking why we were not retrenched (yes, many of us would be happier had we been included among those who left), I remember the words of Tita Chay.

My work life right now suddenly seem to have lost its direction, we're all in the dark, and I'm uncertain as to my next step. But then maybe, I am still here for a reason. Maybe, there are lessons here that I've yet to learn.

In Medias Res

Now where to start? Because I feel like I need to pick up where I left off.

It feels like I have to begin somewhere here, provide some sort of transition from the last post to this new one. Define the new direction that I want this blog to take. But where to start? And what to say? How much to tell? Those are always the big questions. And my OC self tells me I should at least establish some sense of order in this post, in the flow of things here... Give this place some sort of a smooth transition.

So here I am, attempting to continue what I've started.

Well, let me start by stating a few basic facts.

I am a writer. By profession, I've been working for an internet retail company since 2006 - writing copies for online audience, editing and proofreading articles before these are published on the web, and handling a group of writers. By hobby, I write fiction (or used to, and plan to do it again). Writing is my passion. My greatest dream. My ultimate purpose, even.

I live in the city, the big capital, though I do not consider myself a city girl. By heart, I will always be a province girl, a lover of nature, of silence, of solitude, of the slow and idyllic life. I have dreamed of conquering the city, of living in its fast beat, and at times I feel like I get it. Most of the time, though, I don't. After going through its crazy rhythm, I would long for the peace that my personal space provides. Living in the city - it can get tiring, even draining.

People? The one I love most in this world is my grandma. She was my mother as I was growing up, and most of my happy memories are memories with her. Then there's my sister. We don't have a lot in common, but she's one of the most sensible people that I know (sometimes, too sensible to the point of being harsh and heartless). I love her with a kind of love that doesn't need language. And then I have a girlfriend who I love so much. We work in the same office, and she's the closest I have to a family here in the city.

People in general... I'm no expert when it comes to human beings and human relationships. I'd even go as far as say that this area is my weakness. People are just so much complicated, and I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to this kind of complexity. I have no skill for small talk, and I think this has made me come off as snob and aloof. This used to bother me, but I've gone past that stage now and I don't really care anymore. I have a few friends, but most people I just leave alone to themselves. I don't have the skill for loving so many people at the same time. I believe in loving only a few but loving them with all my heart.

My values.Well, I believe in honesty and justice.

I have the tendency to be an idealist, and it can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on the circumstances.

I deeply believe and trust in the intrinsic goodness of man. Some people think me naive because of this, but I don't really care.

I believe that most of the problems of people are caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding, that we can hurt others despite our purest intentions because we sometimes lack the skill to express the deepest utterances of our heart and convert them into action.

I believe in revenge, though I also believe in forgiveness (I cannot forgive easily, though. I still don't have that kind of discipline in me).

I believe that some emotional scars can take a lifetime to heal, so it is only understandable if the people we hurt will never want to have anything to do with us again.

I believe in kindness, in the power of a smile, an encouraging word.

Second chances? Not really. Sometimes, all we really have is one shot, so we give our best because after that, there is nothing more.

I think I could go on and on, but let me end it here.

Cheers to 2013!

Let's Celebrate New Year!

Bring it on 2013!