Looking Back: Thankful for Work

I posted this in my old blog back in March 2011. A lot has already changed since then, but I think the things I realized that day still apply today.

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A great part of my life right now revolves around my profession – online writing. I work in a corporate setting, in an 8-5 (sometimes 7-4, or 9-6) job. I go to work in the morning, spend most of the 9 hours at work in front of the computer, my fingers typing away to the accompaniment of the click clack of the PC keyboard, and then get up and leave in the afternoon. I have had this schedule, with a few deviations and variations here and there, for the past four years and several months more or less.

I have to admit that most of my work has already become a routine over the years, and it’s not always great. Combine the monotony involved, its sedentary nature, and add in office politics – it isn’t always fun and exciting. There’s stress, mostly boredom, and the days when I dread getting up in the morning. There were days when I got disappointed because of expectations that didn’t happen or were not met, times when I felt I wasn’t being properly compensated for all my efforts, and days when I wanted to quit and find a new job.

But I stick – partly because I wasn’t serious about finding a new job, partly because I was afraid of a huge change, and partly because I know I’m doing a good work, even though I don’t always feel like it’s paying off.

Looking at everything now, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. After several years, even though my original excitement for work has already been tempered, I still manage to reach my goals, sometimes even exceed my expectations. Despite the monotony, I haven’t grown stagnant. I’ve never been a burden to my superior, to my colleagues, or to the company. After all these years, I can say that I have done my work well, and that I am a contributing member of the company that I work for. That I have earned my keep, that I am earning my keep. That I have been productive, and that I remain productive until now. And these, these are more important than the money I earn every 15th and 30th of every month.

I also have freelance work. I have clients more than I can handle on my own. I have a writer that I pay to help me with some of my projects. I am never idle, and for that I’m thankful. All these – they give meaning to my professional, and my overall, life.

Work is not always good, yes, but I am assured by the knowledge that I continue to grow in life through my work.

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It's almost two years since I posted this, and I'm thankful I have stayed. I now hold a supervisory position at work. I have handled as many as 15 people in a team, and we've had various accomplishments. And now, as things get a little shaky here, I'd like to have the same resolve I had back then - to stay a little bit longer and learn.

I’m Where God Wants Me to Be

I remember those words in the title from Tita Chay, our head at the Media Ministry back when I was still active at The Feast. There was an upcoming big event at church, but I could not attend and serve because I had to be somewhere else. When I told her about it, those words were her answer - you're where God wants you to be.

Right now, after the retrenchment here at work, with only 11 of us left in our team, and with us asking why we were not retrenched (yes, many of us would be happier had we been included among those who left), I remember the words of Tita Chay.

My work life right now suddenly seem to have lost its direction, we're all in the dark, and I'm uncertain as to my next step. But then maybe, I am still here for a reason. Maybe, there are lessons here that I've yet to learn.

In Medias Res

Now where to start? Because I feel like I need to pick up where I left off.

It feels like I have to begin somewhere here, provide some sort of transition from the last post to this new one. Define the new direction that I want this blog to take. But where to start? And what to say? How much to tell? Those are always the big questions. And my OC self tells me I should at least establish some sense of order in this post, in the flow of things here... Give this place some sort of a smooth transition.

So here I am, attempting to continue what I've started.

Well, let me start by stating a few basic facts.

I am a writer. By profession, I've been working for an internet retail company since 2006 - writing copies for online audience, editing and proofreading articles before these are published on the web, and handling a group of writers. By hobby, I write fiction (or used to, and plan to do it again). Writing is my passion. My greatest dream. My ultimate purpose, even.

I live in the city, the big capital, though I do not consider myself a city girl. By heart, I will always be a province girl, a lover of nature, of silence, of solitude, of the slow and idyllic life. I have dreamed of conquering the city, of living in its fast beat, and at times I feel like I get it. Most of the time, though, I don't. After going through its crazy rhythm, I would long for the peace that my personal space provides. Living in the city - it can get tiring, even draining.

People? The one I love most in this world is my grandma. She was my mother as I was growing up, and most of my happy memories are memories with her. Then there's my sister. We don't have a lot in common, but she's one of the most sensible people that I know (sometimes, too sensible to the point of being harsh and heartless). I love her with a kind of love that doesn't need language. And then I have a girlfriend who I love so much. We work in the same office, and she's the closest I have to a family here in the city.

People in general... I'm no expert when it comes to human beings and human relationships. I'd even go as far as say that this area is my weakness. People are just so much complicated, and I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to this kind of complexity. I have no skill for small talk, and I think this has made me come off as snob and aloof. This used to bother me, but I've gone past that stage now and I don't really care anymore. I have a few friends, but most people I just leave alone to themselves. I don't have the skill for loving so many people at the same time. I believe in loving only a few but loving them with all my heart.

My values.Well, I believe in honesty and justice.

I have the tendency to be an idealist, and it can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on the circumstances.

I deeply believe and trust in the intrinsic goodness of man. Some people think me naive because of this, but I don't really care.

I believe that most of the problems of people are caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding, that we can hurt others despite our purest intentions because we sometimes lack the skill to express the deepest utterances of our heart and convert them into action.

I believe in revenge, though I also believe in forgiveness (I cannot forgive easily, though. I still don't have that kind of discipline in me).

I believe that some emotional scars can take a lifetime to heal, so it is only understandable if the people we hurt will never want to have anything to do with us again.

I believe in kindness, in the power of a smile, an encouraging word.

Second chances? Not really. Sometimes, all we really have is one shot, so we give our best because after that, there is nothing more.

I think I could go on and on, but let me end it here.

Cheers to 2013!

Let's Celebrate New Year!

Bring it on 2013!