The Heart Isn't Always Right.

Or is it?

I remember my brother saying once (and I think he was quoting the bible) that the heart is foolish. That people must not always give in to its desires, because the heart easily falls to the traps of the world. And I guess he is right, because the heart doesn't think. It doesn't consider consequences. It doesn't consider the future. It simply acts on impulse. It simply acts on the present.

Why then do people say that we must follow our heart? Don't they know how dangerous it is to follow the heart? 

I've also been following my heart and ignoring the voice of reason for sometime now, and yes I've been happy. I am happy now. But what about tomorrow? What about consequences? What about right and wrong?

These are questions I've been trying to avoid, because I still don't want to face the truth. But until when? I do not know.

Earlier this year, I'd been faced with a temptation so strong I almost gave in to it. But, with prayers and with God's grace, I was able to move on without giving in and falling (more of the story here). I was able to move forward without looking back, and I remember feeling proud of myself after getting through that temptation.

But, just when I thought I've won, here comes another temptation - and there's no saving me this time. I've already fallen, and fallen hard. I don't know how to walk away now like I did with the first one.

When I look at the two and compare them, I can only see one big difference. There was no emotional investment with the first one, so it was easy to walk away and move on. But, I can't say this to be the same with the situation I'm in right now. I've already invested a lot of emotions into this and my heart has already led me farther and farther, so it's not easy to just go away.

I know I want this. I know I'm happy where I am. I know I care a lot about the person involved.

But, I just can't let go of this voice telling me that this is all wrong. That nothing good will come out of this. And that at the end of it all, no matter how this ends, I will always be the one responsible for everything.

I know God is here for me, that He is just waiting that I come to Him for help, like I did the first time when I prayed hard for Him to help me overcome the temptation and walk away. And I triumphed. Only this time, I'm not sure if I want to walk away. I'm not sure whether I really want to overcome this temptation. I'm not sure I want to say goodbye and move on. 

Now that's the real problem.