Thursday, March 21, 2013

Of Time and Urgency

It was Sunday last week, and I just came from church early morning. I was walking home when I chanced upon an old lady near the Mandaluyong Circle. She was an abandoned Lola, and I'd seen her several times in that same spot - sitting, with a lot of stuff around her, maybe her personal belongings. It was obvious she was a 'palaboy' by the way she looked. She had things inside what I seem to remember as plastic bags, and she had food. I'd seen her a few times there while I was riding the jeepney going home.

I'm used to seeing beggars and abandoned people in various areas - kids, adults, old men and women. With the prevalence of people like them, I have to admit there are times when I look at them and consider the overall situation normal. There are a few instances, though, which move me and awaken me to action. That chance encounter with that old lady is one of them.

When I saw her, her head was bowed and she was looking at something on the ground. As I got closer to her while walking, I saw she had a lot of food (a lot of rice and some kind of viand, I guess), only it was obvious they were already spoiled. There were flies and other insects feasting on them. As I got closer, I saw what she was looking at - some leaf (looked like a piece from a banana leaf) with several stuff on them. I could not tell what those were, but they looked like pieces of plants (or were they scraps of food? I could not tell). She was sort of arranging those, and her hand was trembling while doing so. I had a glimpse of her face, which I was able to see just a little bit because it was a bit covered by her hair, and I saw that she was talking (or mumbling) and she was crying. 

The first thing that came to mind when I saw that complete scene was what we used to do as kids - playing 'bahay bahayan'. We pretended to be eating and serving food, and I thought that might be what the woman was doing, pretending or imagining that she was with someone else (a child, maybe, a husband, a family?) and she was serving food... An escape from the cruel reality that she's living. And yet she was crying, probably because she was fully aware it was all pretend.

I passed by that woman, my heart catching in my throat. And while I continued my walk home, I felt some sort of force pulling me back. Some part of me wanted to help her, even just to talk to her, to comfort her, to let her feel that she wasn't so alone, that people notice, that people care. But, my own plans and activities for the day kept me walking farther from her.

And as I was walking away, so many thoughts and images were running in my head. I imagined what that woman might be feeling, that she would never see her family again, that she has no one, that it would be the kind of life she would have until the day she dies, and that she would continue with everyday without anybody caring, that she would die and nobody would care. The thoughts were a torture, and they carried on until I arrived home. And even as I pretended to be normal, they were at the back of my mind, until I had to will myself to stop thinking because the thoughts were too painful.

I vowed to do something, to help that woman in any way I can. I searched for homes for the aged online (found 3), jotted down their number, and called them one by one. I was only able to reach one of them, and the woman from the institution told me that I should contact the DSWD in our area as a concerned citizen, which will be the one to facilitate the process and find the right home for the aged for the old lady. I tried the number, but they could not be reached. I told myself to try again the next day, and maybe get a chance to talk to the old lady before doing that so I can have more details when I place my call.

That afternoon after work, I was with my girlfriend and we planned to check on the old lady. I brought a bottle of water, thinking that people usually dole out food to beggars but nobody seem to give them clean water for drinking. But, to my great disappointment, the lady was gone. She wasn't there in her spot anymore.

I felt extremely disappointed and guilty at the same time; I was too late. My girlfriend told me maybe somebody else helped her, and I could only wish that's true. I really hope somebody helped her.

And with that incident, I realized the importance of urgency in helping others, in doing good deeds. Because intentions are never enough until they are put in action. But by delaying actions, the intentions may no longer come to fruition. 

Sorry, Lola, I hope you are in a good place. 

And from now on, I vow to extend help whenever and wherever it is needed, in any way I can, with urgency and without delay.

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