Repost: The Way We Are

Can we really know a person – for real? I mean, is it possible to really know a person? Or are we the only people who know ourselves (or, do we even know ourselves like we think we do)? The latter is beside the point, so let’s not digress.

If only we know the reality about the people we care about, if only the cloak of mystery that surrounds every human being will be removed, I guess it would be easier to deal with people. There’s no need to pre-judge a person… no need to act so cautiously thinking that we might be doing the wrong thing and the person might react negatively to what we do (no matter how innocent or sincere our intention)… no need to second guess, wonder, and suffer trying to decipher the mind of a person just so we’ll know how to react the right way to that person.

Why do we really need to put on masks? I guess because we’re afraid of the world. Because of our need to conform. Because of the fear that the world will not like what they see when we reveal ourselves.

But, recent events have showed me just how unhealthy this part of human nature is. Because of the masks that people around us wear, we are unable to relate to them in the best way we can. And because of the masks that we ourselves wear, we deprive ourselves of the chance to be really seen, and to be liked the way we are. And this makes everything complicated.

Yes, we become vulnerable by revealing ourselves – whether it’s to the people we deal with everyday or, yes, to that person we care about so much. We might get hurt. Our dignity and pride might be trampled.

But, what about the rewards? What about the possibility of being liked and loved just the way we are? What about the possibility that the person we care about so much will reciprocate the feelings that we have? These are only possibilities, but don’t they hold promise?

In Medias Res

Now where to start? Because I feel like I need to pick up where I left off.

It feels like I have to begin somewhere here, provide some sort of transition from the last post to this new one. Define the new direction that I want this blog to take. But where to start? And what to say? How much to tell? Those are always the big questions. And my OC self tells me I should at least establish some sense of order in this post, in the flow of things here... Give this place some sort of a smooth transition.

So here I am, attempting to continue what I've started.

Well, let me start by stating a few basic facts.

I am a writer. By profession, I've been working for an internet retail company since 2006 - writing copies for online audience, editing and proofreading articles before these are published on the web, and handling a group of writers. By hobby, I write fiction (or used to, and plan to do it again). Writing is my passion. My greatest dream. My ultimate purpose, even.

I live in the city, the big capital, though I do not consider myself a city girl. By heart, I will always be a province girl, a lover of nature, of silence, of solitude, of the slow and idyllic life. I have dreamed of conquering the city, of living in its fast beat, and at times I feel like I get it. Most of the time, though, I don't. After going through its crazy rhythm, I would long for the peace that my personal space provides. Living in the city - it can get tiring, even draining.

People? The one I love most in this world is my grandma. She was my mother as I was growing up, and most of my happy memories are memories with her. Then there's my sister. We don't have a lot in common, but she's one of the most sensible people that I know (sometimes, too sensible to the point of being harsh and heartless). I love her with a kind of love that doesn't need language. And then I have a girlfriend who I love so much. We work in the same office, and she's the closest I have to a family here in the city.

People in general... I'm no expert when it comes to human beings and human relationships. I'd even go as far as say that this area is my weakness. People are just so much complicated, and I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to this kind of complexity. I have no skill for small talk, and I think this has made me come off as snob and aloof. This used to bother me, but I've gone past that stage now and I don't really care anymore. I have a few friends, but most people I just leave alone to themselves. I don't have the skill for loving so many people at the same time. I believe in loving only a few but loving them with all my heart.

My values.Well, I believe in honesty and justice.

I have the tendency to be an idealist, and it can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on the circumstances.

I deeply believe and trust in the intrinsic goodness of man. Some people think me naive because of this, but I don't really care.

I believe that most of the problems of people are caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding, that we can hurt others despite our purest intentions because we sometimes lack the skill to express the deepest utterances of our heart and convert them into action.

I believe in revenge, though I also believe in forgiveness (I cannot forgive easily, though. I still don't have that kind of discipline in me).

I believe that some emotional scars can take a lifetime to heal, so it is only understandable if the people we hurt will never want to have anything to do with us again.

I believe in kindness, in the power of a smile, an encouraging word.

Second chances? Not really. Sometimes, all we really have is one shot, so we give our best because after that, there is nothing more.

I think I could go on and on, but let me end it here.

Cheers to 2013!

To Unleash the Child

It all begins by breaking the walls that we have built around us – the dictates of the society, telling us which is right or wrong, which is acceptable or unacceptable. Once the wall is broken down, we can begin again…

To see the world from a different light.

To give voice to the whispers of the heart,
Without fear of being wrong or being condemned.

To regain a curious mind,
More open to learning, more accepting of the world.

To start seeing the good in things.

To take risks without fear,
Ready to do whatever it takes,
Give whatever sacrifice is needed,
Just to follow the flight of the heart.

To fall madly in love,
No matter what the consequences –
Whether pain or despair or suffering.

To allow ourselves to be lost in our passion,
And in the process, find our true self.

To be brave enough
To venture into the unstable waters of love,
And experience its pure bliss –
Sharing without control,
No reservations and holding back.

To live only in the present,
Free from the shackles of the past and from the worry of the future.

To be free, and to be happy,
To live a life filled with faith, hope, and trust.

The child in us is always alive. Maybe it has been caged for a long time, but it’s just there – waiting for us to open the cage. Its voice may have been suppressed, but it still speaks in whispers, and we can hear it in the silence.

Let’s set it free and renew our existence. 

Life’s Too Good for Sulking

(photo credit)

This is for you, for you who can’t find enough reason to smile.

The world is good, or are you not aware of that? Can’t you see the blessings that surround you? Can’t you see the world opening its arms, ready to embrace you?

I’ve seen you a lot of times like that, and a few times I’ve tried to smile at you. But, it seems you’re so wrapped up in your misery, or anger, or whatever it is that is consuming you – you seem not to have seen me at all.

I don’t know what you’re going through. What pain you may be enduring, what burden you may be carrying on your shoulders. But there’s one wish I have for you. I wish that you will see the beauty surrounding you. It’s not the end of the world, and life is good. Life is gentle to those who are suffering, tender to those who are in pain.

Life loves you.

Never Underestimate The Small Things.

It is in fact harder to decipher them. 

It's easy to understand the big things because they're noticeable, even obvious. But to discover and understand the meaning underneath the tiny bits of life, the daily, the mundane, now that takes real skill.

Every Problem Has A Solution.

Trust that nothing is permanent, and that every trial has an end.

Do Not Get Lost.

Keep your anchor and your focus strong. Because in life, the waves of everyday survival can take you farther away from the path you should be leading.

If you shall look unto others, look for support and encouragement. Do not compare, because you only have yourself to compete with.

If you shall stop and take a rest, be sure that it is to recharge and to spring at the next opportunity with double the amount of enthusiasm and energy.

Stray if you must. But wherever you go, leave something worthwhile and meaningful in that place. Make sure that place is a better place when you leave it.

And most importantly, don't forget to go back to the path that will lead you to your correct destination.

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, 

and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible, without surrender, 

be on good terms with all persons. 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; 

and listen to others, 

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself with others, 

you may become vain or bitter, 

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; 

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, 

for the world is full of trickery. 

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals, 

and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love, 

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, 

be gentle with yourself. 

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here. 

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, 

whatever you conceive Him to be. 

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life, 

keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world. 

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Within Us Is A Soul Always Clamoring For Meaning.

No matter where we go and no matter how far we've gone, the soul won't be satisfied until it finds what it is looking for. We can't satisfy its hunger with all the seemingly important things we do, with all the seemingly big achievements we've accomplished, and with all the seemingly valuable possessions we've acquired. The soul will always be searching for its purpose - it will always be searching for that thing that we hold dearest in our heart.

Everyone Deserves A New Beginning (Part 2).

It starts out with something physical - a physical move to a new place, perhaps. And then you feel something more. As you get yourself acquainted with your new environment, you also feel something strange in yourself. 

Picture it like a seed slowly growing into a small plant. The plant sees the world with fresh eyes. 

And then as you move about, you feel like in you, too, there is something new growing. A new awareness, perhaps... A resolve to do better, live a more meaningful life, pursue the dreams you have set aside and almost forgotten. And then you feel, you're ready to live again.

Everyone Deserves A New Beginning.

All We Need Is Resolve.

Even if things are difficult, even if we think there's no way out of a bad situation, and even if we feel real bad about a problem...

Sometimes, all we need is to tell ourself what we have to do to make things work. We should voice it out loud. Engrave the words in our mind. Repeat it to ourselves over and over again.

And then finally we see the universe tilting a little to our side. We see a little opening, and then we realize it's possible. No matter how difficult things can get, resolve can be the first step towards the solution to our problem.

Be Mad.

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" - Jack Kerouac

Everything Demands Constant Work.

Everything that is good, we have to work for. Everything that is beautiful is a product of effort.

Note to self: Nothing exists without hard work. 

You Can't Allow One Small Ugly Detail To Ruin An Entirely Beautiful Thing.

Because... 

The ugly is there so that you can recognize the beautiful.

The sad parts of your life exist so that you can appreciate the good.

You've been hurt so that you can value love when you find it.

You have to take the whole. If you want to enjoy the entire beauty, you have to try and put up with that single ugly detail. That's how it all works.

Nothing Can Be Beautiful.

Those moments when you restrain your mind and keep it from running into the future, into your plans and your to-do list, and allow it to simply wallow in the moment. When you've got nothing but today... Nothing but whatever is here... Nothing but the present reality... And you realize, this is what life is all about. You are alive.

I Won't Be Blinded By Appearances.

Don't show me the cross necklace that you wear around your neck. 

Don't tell me how many times you kneel in front of the altar everyday. 

And don't shout your prayers for me to hear.

I want to see the kind of life you live when you're outside the church.

I want to know how you treat people who are different from you. 

And I want to hear the words that come out of your mouth when you're angry or annoyed.

Everything Is Going To Be Fine.

Despite the problems, despite the lack of resources, despite the lack of time, despite the stress... I know I can make this. :)

We All Have An Opinion About People.

But...

As Herbert J. Taylor asked in 

The Four Way Test

Of the things we think, say, or do

- Is it the TRUTH?

- Is it FAIR to all concerned?

- Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

- Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

My respect goes to the man who can hold his opinion to himself unless the right occasion calls for him to express such opinion.

It Is Difficult To Be Objective About A Situation When The People Involved Are People We Care About.

Because no matter what we do, our judgment and perspective will always be clouded by our emotions. I think that is a good thing, because that only proves our heart, our loyalty, and that is part of our design as a person (which is a perfect design, by the way). And we can't avoid that because we're only human. Our heart is always at work in us.

In the end, though, we all want to believe that all things will still turn out well regardless of our judgment and perspective.