Repost: The Way We Are

Can we really know a person – for real? I mean, is it possible to really know a person? Or are we the only people who know ourselves (or, do we even know ourselves like we think we do)? The latter is beside the point, so let’s not digress.

If only we know the reality about the people we care about, if only the cloak of mystery that surrounds every human being will be removed, I guess it would be easier to deal with people. There’s no need to pre-judge a person… no need to act so cautiously thinking that we might be doing the wrong thing and the person might react negatively to what we do (no matter how innocent or sincere our intention)… no need to second guess, wonder, and suffer trying to decipher the mind of a person just so we’ll know how to react the right way to that person.

Why do we really need to put on masks? I guess because we’re afraid of the world. Because of our need to conform. Because of the fear that the world will not like what they see when we reveal ourselves.

But, recent events have showed me just how unhealthy this part of human nature is. Because of the masks that people around us wear, we are unable to relate to them in the best way we can. And because of the masks that we ourselves wear, we deprive ourselves of the chance to be really seen, and to be liked the way we are. And this makes everything complicated.

Yes, we become vulnerable by revealing ourselves – whether it’s to the people we deal with everyday or, yes, to that person we care about so much. We might get hurt. Our dignity and pride might be trampled.

But, what about the rewards? What about the possibility of being liked and loved just the way we are? What about the possibility that the person we care about so much will reciprocate the feelings that we have? These are only possibilities, but don’t they hold promise?

I’m Where God Wants Me to Be

I remember those words in the title from Tita Chay, our head at the Media Ministry back when I was still active at The Feast. There was an upcoming big event at church, but I could not attend and serve because I had to be somewhere else. When I told her about it, those words were her answer - you're where God wants you to be.

Right now, after the retrenchment here at work, with only 11 of us left in our team, and with us asking why we were not retrenched (yes, many of us would be happier had we been included among those who left), I remember the words of Tita Chay.

My work life right now suddenly seem to have lost its direction, we're all in the dark, and I'm uncertain as to my next step. But then maybe, I am still here for a reason. Maybe, there are lessons here that I've yet to learn.

Peace and Happiness

Happiness is a product of several things in our life. Our relationships. Our financial stability. Our overall growth. And a lot more. There’s no single standard rule to achieving it, no one defined way toward happiness. There are only different bridges that may help us reach it. One of these bridges is peace.

Peace with the past

Any excess baggage we carry from the past is a hindrance to our happiness. It could be an unsettled disagreement with a former friend, anger toward an ex-spouse, or a hidden grudge against a member of our family.

So let’s forgive, let go, and move on.

As has always been said, past is past, and we can do nothing about it.

The best move? Let’s not allow it to affect our present and our future. Let’s not let our past be a hindrance to our happiness.

Peace with the world

The world is always imperfect; it’s never been a paradise, and never will be. There will always be problems, there will always be dissensions, there will always be injustice.

There will always be traffics and rush hours. There will always be bitter people who will curse at others when they don’t get what they want. There will always be huge taxes, soaring commodity prices, rainy days, but so what? That’s the world. That’s life.

If something can be done, let’s do it. If not, so be it. Let’s not let daily hassles ruin what could otherwise be a happy day. As they say, we should all learn to accept what we cannot change.

Peace with ourselves

Our own worst critic is often ourselves. And as the world is never perfect, so is every person. Everyday, we will find flaws in ourselves. In the way we dress, in the way we deal with others, or in the way we perform our work. There will always be low days when we wouldn’t feel good about ourselves. But that’s just it. No one is perfect. Otherwise, life will lose its meaning.

So let’s accept our imperfections. Let’s forgive ourselves when we commit mistakes. Let’s understand that there’s always a great room for improvement in our life. Let’s recognize our abilities and success. Let us all love ourselves.

Happiness is not found in perfection. It can be found even in the imperfections in our past, in the world around us, and in ourselves, if we learn to come to terms with them… To not always be on the lookout for somebody to blame for them and to realize that some imperfections are doors leading to opportunities that will further improve our life.

[Also posted in my Facebook page]

It Takes Courage To Stand By A Person When It Seems The Whole World Is Going Against That Person.

But that is what friendship is all about. Sometimes, all you can do to be a real friend is accept the person - the good, the bad, the entire package.

Friends Will Always Accept You.

So today let me just say -

I'm thankful for my friends.