Saturday, December 8, 2012

Repost: Negatron

negatron - an electron with a negative charge

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I call her Negatron, queen of all negative energies. She used to be my friend, but her negativity is just destroying everything around her - I decided to end the madness and save my sanity by keeping my distance. I can't help it, though, she still affects me because we're in the same circle of friends.

My feelings for her is alternating between pity and annoyance. Pity because I know she's never truly happy with the kind of mindset that she has. And annoyance because she makes everything oh-so-gloomy. She has a victim mentality - I don't know why she feels like the world is always plotting against her. She's always suspicious, always defensive, I wonder if  she even gets a night of peaceful sleep. I pity her because I see how her mentality is destroying her, and closing the doors to possible happiness. In the same way, I realized just recently that I can't stand her and her negative mindset anymore. In fact, there was a point when I just altogether stopped listening to her complaints - sometimes I hear them, but I don't take them seriously anymore, too much garbage and too much emotional baggage to handle.

Some of our friends have also taken notice of her attitude, and I guess they've learned how to put up with it. No one has the courage to confront her about the problem. Once in the past, I already hinted to her how I saw and felt about her attitude, but I'm not sure if she got my whole point. Now, though, I can't help it - I can't restrain myself any longer. I am unable to maintain a stoic and neutral face when she starts with her litany of negative ideas. All I do is automatically shut down, choose not to listen and then focus my attention on something else. Because if I don't do this, I'd explode. I can barely contain my irritation. Ugh!

I don't know what to do. I can't vent out to any of my friends without sounding negative myself. And I've never been someone to talk about another person behind her back, except during certain circumstances when I strongly feel and see the need to. I am seriously running out of options right now. God help me.

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