Made Me Glad by Hillsong

The Four-Way Test by Herbert J. Taylor

This is a test not only of the things that we say but as well as the things that we think and do. Four simple questions to consider to gauge our thoughts, words, and actions:

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Only thoughts, words, and actions that pass the test are worth considering.

Repost: Of Friendships, Exclusivity, Privacy, and Freedom

There was a time in my life when I told myself I wasn’t capable of establishing a personal and a deep relationship with anybody. And I’m not speaking only in the context of romantic relationship – I’m also speaking in the context of friendship. I was too restless to settle. I love my privacy so much. And I don’t believe in best friends. Call me cynical, but I don’t. I do believe in friends, though. And close friends, too. But in best friends, and the exclusivity that comes with being someone’s best friend – I don’t.

I have friends, mind you. I have friends at the office. I have friends from elementary, from high school, and from college. I have D Corz. I have my team. I have my former students. And I still make new friends now. But, I have a hard time dealing with exclusivity and everything that comes with it.

There have been a couple of instances in the past when I went away from prospective friends and friendships because of this. In the beginning, everything was going well. We would hang out together and share ideas and experiences with each other. We would even share secrets. For a while, everything would be fine… Until it didn’t seem right anymore.

There came a time when I already felt my privacy was being invaded, when these friends became a little bit more clingy. They would tell me everything about their life and expect me to tell them everything about mine. In the office, they couldn’t wait to share with me everything that’s happening in their life, and right when I was so in the mood to work. They couldn’t wait to share every little detail of their life with me. And I guess that’s fine, after all we’re friends. But it didn’t seem right to me.

Long story short, I felt trapped. I felt I was losing a certain percentage of control over my life, that I was forced into doing things I didn’t want to do. And in the end, I hated being in that particular situation. So I walked away.

I felt guilty, knowing in my mind that my friends didn’t do anything wrong. I think they were just doing what they thought was normal for friends to do. But that’s just it. I am the one with the issue.

I value my privacy a lot. I love my freedom. I love to be friends while still being able to move freely within my own space. I want full control over my life. And that’s still how I feel until now. So tell me – is this normal?

What Matters Most

Throughout life, there’s only one thing that really matters. At the end of everything, only one question will be asked to each one of us as we stand before the Father. One simple question, and we are given a lifetime to find an excellent answer. What comes into your mind?

How many trophies and medals have you gathered?

How much money have you earned?

How high was the position you reached?

How many words of praise have you received?

How many hands have touched yours in congratulations?

How many people cried during your death?

How many people still remember you after a year of perish?

These, and many more, may come to mind.

But really, only one thing matters. Everything else will be useless. Here is just the simple question to all of us –

How many people have you loved with all your heart?

Quite a simple question, and we have a lifetime to spend preparing our answers. Can we stand proud before the Lord someday and give an excellent answer to this question? Why not? We can start preparing now!

Role Play

By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept - Paulo Coelho

—–

“Don’t be frightened, Pilar. Don’t just fall into playing a role.”

… “I don’t know what you mean by ‘playing a role.’”

“Some people always have to be doing battle with someone, sometimes even with themselves, battling with their own lives. So they begin to create a kind of play in their head, and they write the script based on their frustrations.”

“I know a lot of people like that. I know just what you mean.”

“But the worst part is that they cannot present the play by themselves,” he continued. “So they begin to invite other actors to join in.

“That’s what the fellow outside was doing. He wanted revenge for something, and he chose us to play a part. If we had accepted his restrictions, we’d be regretting it now. We would have been defeated. We would have agreed to participate in his miserable life and in his frustrations.

“The man’s aggression was easy to see, so it was easy for us to refuse the role he wanted us to play. But other people also ‘invite’ us to behave like victims, when they complain about the unfairness of life, for example, and ask us to agree, to offer advice, to participate.”

He looked into my eyes. “Be careful. When you join in that game, you always wind up losing.”

—–

The truth in this statement is extremely striking, especially that last part stating how we sometimes take the role of victims in the play that other people enact. In my life, I have met a lot of people like those mentioned – the whiners, the pessimists, those who constantly focus on the problems in their life, those who always find fault in the things around them, and those who refuse to see their blessings.

And these are dangerous people. They often feed on pity. They prey on unsuspecting individuals around them – friends, family members, acquaintances – always in search of empathy. The most dangerous thing about them is the fact that they are contagious. They can infect the people around them with their twisted beliefs.

I have to admit that I’ve experienced taking both roles – being the prey and the predator. It is hard to resist the temptation, and one can only do so when one already acquires complete awareness. In my life right now, my prayer is this:

May I not turn into a fellow like the one mentioned by Coelho in the passage. May I recognize the blessings before I see the faults, so that I won’t have to live a miserable life and won’t be tempted to become a predator in the first place. May I recognize the people who invite me to play victims in their own story, and may I have the courage to refuse the role that they are giving me. And may I help others do the same.

Feeling Good About Our Dreams

Dreams are among the most wonderful things about life. They keep us alive. They keep our blood pumping. They keep our existence more meaningful. But, I’ve learned that the way we treat our dreams affect the possibility by which they can become real. We have the power to accelerate the fulfillment of our dreams, or to slow them down. How? It all starts with the way we feel towards our dreams.

How do you feel about your dreams?

Are we excited? Thrilled? Are we happy about our dreams? Or are we worried and anxious? Are we stressing over them? Are we scared that our dreams will not come to reality?

Positive emotions attract possibility, while negative emotions repel possibility. If we are happy, excited, thrilled, we increase the possibility of our dream’s fulfillment. We fill our body with the energy that tells us, we have to do it now! We can! And we will!

On the contrary, negative emotions limit possibility. If we’re scared, worried, anxious, we become paralyzed by our fears. And what we think, we often manifest in our actions. And, it has been proven many times – visualization is powerful. If all we can think of is our fear that our dreams won’t come true, there will be a very big possibility that they won’t.

But there’s good news: The Secret says that affirmative thoughts are a hundred times more powerful than negative thoughts. So, whatever fear we feel about our dreams, we can easily combat by thinking positive thoughts. We are blessed! We can reach our dreams! We’re getting there! Let these be our mantra as we reach our dreams and as we take actions that will lead us to the time, the place, the circumstance we’ve always dreamed of.