Friday, November 30, 2012

Of Bus Rides and Freedom

Since I came to Manila to work almost three years ago, going home to my family in Bicol has been one of the events that I always look forward to. Not that I go home often, which makes every homecoming even more exciting. And while the availability of Cebu Pacific has made travels easier, faster, and more hassle-free for me, I have found that I can’t totally give up road trip – the 10 to 12 hours bus ride to Bicol and back.

Other than the fact that it’s my saving grace when I’m going home on a limited budget, I have also come to love the entire bus ride, no matter how long it takes – and never mind the fact that I arrive home haggard when I take the bus.
In fact, I enjoy riding the non-aircon type, first because it’s not too cold (I get cold very easily), and second because I love the feeling of sitting with strangers and hearing them talk and just being in the middle of the noise – a mere observer. That isn’t usually the scenario inside aircon buses because the people are either focused on the television or are dozing off trying to get warm.
When riding a non-aircon bus, I love that the windows are open, allowing me to feel the breeze (never mind the fact that it’s all dust when the bus is still along Edsa amidst all the other vehicles). There’s a feeling of freedom when you’re inside a running bus with the windows open and you feel like you’re more involved with everything around you, not just with all the other passengers but even with the world that you pass by.
I love to watch people, and I get a whole lot of watching when inside a bus. I also get the time to think. And yeah, I love the feeling of just doing nothing. And when riding a bus, it’s one of the rare instances when I feel like I can give up control and drop my guard. I can let go, just be passive, sit back and relax, and let the driver take charge. For the entire bus ride, I can allow my mind to pause and rest, to wander off and stray, and to just be free.
Yeah, bus rides mean freedom for me. Now that daily life seems to have turned into a rush of events, a sweep of time from one activity to another, a 10- or 12-hour bus ride is a wonderful break from the fast succession of events in my daily existence.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Self Reliance

If you don’t want 
to get disappointed 
because of other people, 

don’t rely on them. 

Not for their understanding. 
Nor for their sympathy. 
And especially neither for their approval.

Sometimes, 
you only have yourself 
to truly rely on.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Disturb Us, Lord - Sir Francis Drake

Disturb us, Lord,
When we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord,
When with the abundance of things we possess,
We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord,
To dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

-----

Today I realize…
That I am just but a part of the bigger universe, a mere piece of a puzzle that corresponds to God’s bigger plans.
That the world does not revolve around me, that my plans are secondary only to the plan that God has already laid out for my life. 
And that my trials, the tools that God uses to disturb me, they are mere instruments reminding me that I should learn to surrender control – to give way to the great things that God has in store for me.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The End

Have you ever wondered about the thoughts running in the mind of people who have ever considered killing themselves?

What events could have brought on that chilling thought? What possible circumstances have brought them to the conclusion that non existence is the best option? What kind of darkness could have caused them to finally surrender and give up on life?
What could have pushed the person to consider pulling the trigger, or stepping in front of a fast-running vehicle, or jumping from the nth floor of a building?
Have they ever thought about what’s to come after their body is discovered? Whether their families will accept their fate, or whether they will have a hard time coming to terms with reality? Whether they will be remembered for a long time, whether their death will cause years of anguish to the people who know them, or whether they will be forgotten after a year or two?