Say Yes.

Even if sometimes, our mind is saying no. 

Even if sometimes, we're not sure whether we can tackle that which we say yes to. 

Even if sometimes, we're scared of what's to come. 

Because yes is a powerful word, and it empowers us to do things that are bigger than ourselves. And in the process we also grow a little bigger, a little more powerful.

Summer Is The Season Of Fun.

And it feels good to be one with all the people who take time away from all the hard work to give themselves some time to recharge and simply enjoy themselves... Because we all need some time to play.

There Is Joy In Hard Work.

That joy comes from the knowledge that one has done something meaningful and one that contributes to the accomplishment of something bigger than one's self.

Let Us Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt.

Because we'll be happier that way. 

Suspicions are feelings that we cannot control, but we can always choose to suspend our judgment until we have the proof that we need. 

Because sometimes, our suspicions can destroy the happiness of a moment.

Life is Good.

Things don't always turn out the way we want them, but they always turn out the way they should.

The Only Way To Go After Going Down Is Up.

Sometimes, you need to get a wake-up call, a knock on the head, to remind you about where you should be going. To tell you not to get too comfortable in your position. To push you forward, towards your limit, towards a better you. That wake-up call, that knock on the head, that reminder, could be painful. But, sometimes, it's all you need to pay attention and realize what your next step should be.

And when you've reached that low point, you can be sure the next move would be aimed high.

We Can Hurt Even Those We Love.

No matter how unintentional, and no matter how much we love the person, time will come when we will hurt or disappoint that person. Because like everybody else, we're imperfect. We are easily affected by events that happen around us. Our moods are unstable. Our emotions are weak.

But do you know what's beautiful about it all? When at the end of the day, we still find ourselves together with that person. When we can feel sorry about what we've done. When we can forgive and let go of each other's shortcomings. And when we can look past through the imperfections of one another and find love beyond.

Discipline Is Most Needed When You Are Happy.

Because happiness can easily make you forget - about your responsibilities, about other important stuff, and about reality in general.

Well, yes, forget everything for a moment, drown yourself in happiness, but soon you must rouse and face the real world.

There's Joy In Sharing.

Nobody Said It's Gonna Be Easy.

But it doesn't matter.

Happiness doesn't depend on whether life is easy or not anyway.

Friends Will Always Accept You.

So today let me just say -

I'm thankful for my friends.

In The End, The Truth Will Always Make Things Right.

Things might get more difficult hereon, but that doesn't matter. 

What matters is peace of mind, the kind of peace that a person gets once he has already come to terms with everything that's happening in his life, and he tells himself he's all ready to face the world with all he's got.

Work Keeps Us Alive.

Routine can be deadly, though not in an obvious way. It can kill creativity. It can numb the senses. And it can rob our daily existence of its meaning.

So today I welcome the extra work. I welcome the out-of-routine activities. I welcome the rush. I feel alive.

Love Is Not Something You Can Hide.

You can keep it within you for as long a time as you can, but definitely not forever. At one point in your life, you have to release it and allow it to find the person to which it is for. Only then can love triumph.

Love Prevails.

Things are not perfect. Someone close to me just got a miscarriage. Deadlines are coming up at work. I badly need sleep. And I've got so much on my plate this coming week. Time seems to be always running out.

But, 

these things don't matter.

Because when someone's in love,

everything else fades in the background.

There Are Things That We Can't Control And Plan.

It is probably in our nature as human beings to aim for control over all the things that are happening to us. And we do this by planning, by organizing, by plotting out our actions in advance. And in many cases, we succeed.

But, there comes a point when we realize that some of the most beautiful and some of the most important things in life cannot be planned - they come out naturally. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to polish out all the details, playing with them in our hand, things still happen outside of the plan. And even if we try to create a sort of controlled timeline in our life, some things just happen at their own time. 

In one of my previous posts, I talked about putting a timer on love - or let's apply that to life in general. Some things cannot be governed by a timer, because they move at their own pace. Sometimes we think we have it all controlled, we have it all tamed, and then something just happens or snaps and the plan is forgotten.

And when everything has happened, when the plan is altered and the details go out of control, we realize that the world doesn't end - it still rotates in its own axis. Life goes on. And we begin to wonder, maybe everything was meant to happen the way it happened.

As We Move On In Life, There Are People That We Have To Let Go.

There are people that we let go by circumstances. Life takes us into a different path and we start to live a new life with new people, leaving behind some of the people we used to know. There are also people that we let go by choice. Maybe because we feel that these people are not influencing us in a good way. Maybe because we feel they're holding us back and keeping us from reaching our best potential. Or maybe because we simply feel that we have already grown apart from these people and our values have already changed.

Letting go by choice is not easy, especially if the people we've let go are people that we deal with everyday. Relationships are already complex as they are, and they can get even more complicated when issues like letting go are involved.

I guess the key to avoid all these is to do the letting go gracefully. However, being graceful is not always easy in these instances (especially for someone like me who is not really a people person). There will be heartaches. There will be awkwardness. And there might even be grudges.

That said, let us remember that situations like this call for honesty more than anything else - that is, honesty to ourself. We can't be passive during these instances and we cannot allow fear to keep us from doing what we must do. We must be brave enough to let go and go away if we are to save ourself. 

Run To Your Fear.

This is a favorite line of a preacher that I admire. He always tells people to face their fear and to never give up. And how right he is.

Yesterday, I just realized that we can never overcome a fear unless we continuously expose ourselves to whatever triggers it. We can only really do two things about the things we fear - either we forever avoid them or we continually face them until we finally become immune to them. Two things, and it's clear which is the correct choice.

So from now on, my prayer will be:

Dear Lord, please help me recognize my fears and find their roots. Please give me the courage to face these fears until they no longer scare me. Amen.

We Can Only Be Who We Are.

Trying to be someone else is a futile attempt. Yes, we are imperfect. Yes, we are not good at the things that we value. Yes, we may be far from being the kind of person that we want to be. But we must always remember: growth is a lifetime process. It's not an overnight transformation. And we can't make ourselves a clone of even the most admirable person in the world.

Any attempt to be someone else, no matter how good the intent behind the desire, poses a certain amount of danger. That danger has to do with losing one's self while not totally becoming the person one wants to be. In  the process, the person gets stranded in the middle - not anymore himself, yet not the person he wants to be. He becomes an entirely different person from the person that he really is and from the person that he wishes to become.

There's really no better way to deal with change, or the desire for it, than to allow it to go naturally - not forcing it nor faking it. Because in the end, the only person we can and should aspire to be... is the better image of our present self - different from who we used to be, yet still us.

Memorized Prayers Do Not Go To Waste.

People attack the Catholic church for many reasons - for patronizing saints, for using images, for the rosary, and for many other of its practices. One common Catholic practice that some people question is its use of written prayers - such as The Creed, the Our Father, and the Hail Mary. People say these are not effective because they are merely recited from memory, not from the heart, and thus they don't have meaning. In the past, I could, in some way, understand the point that these people are raising - that memorized prayers often lose their essence when recited.

Today, though, I already understand the role that these forms of prayer play in the life of people who have the faith.

Prayer is also a way of life, a form of communication with God. But, like all other forms of communication, there are times when prayer also fails. There have been instances in my life when I find it very difficult to talk to God. I would prepare myself for prayer, only to find my mind wandering somewhere else - and prayer fails. I would try to talk to God, only to find myself at a loss for words - and prayer fails. I would search myself for all the things I want to tell God, only to find emptiness - and prayer fails. 

There are certain instances in my life when talking to God becomes a huge challenge because of several reasons. Sometimes, I get distracted and my mind gets occupied by a jumble of thoughts. And then recently, I've been having a hard time praying because I feel I'm not worthy to come to God because of sin - that feeling which comes with the knowledge that I am living a life of sin, and talking to Him becomes very difficult because I am overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and unworthiness. During instances like this, prayer becomes a big challenge. And even when I attempt a conversation, I usually end up feeling like all the words I utter are hollow and meaningless.

Just this morning, a solution presented itself just before I fully woke up - memorized prayers. I recalled the lines of the Our Father and recited them in my mind, allowing myself to extract meaning from the words and to feel God's presence in the written lines. It was not an instant success, but I felt something there - some emotion, some connection, some stirring in the soul. 

I know that God understands this dark phase in my prayer life and in my relationship with Him, and I know He sees what's inside me - He can hear the voice of my heart even as my mind and my tongue fail to find the words. I trust that He will work His miracles to pick me up and lead me forward until I get through this. For the meantime, memorized prayers shall be my guide.

We All Carry Our Own Cross.

And we cannot judge a person unless we have already tried carrying the cross of that person.

Behind the smile could be sorrow, and behind the laughter could be anguish. We should learn to look beyond first impressions, beyond the external, beyond the typical... to see the real being underneath - someone with a heart, just like us.

Some Moments Can Catch Us Off Guard.

And as for me, those moments almost always catch me during late afternoons. And the effect is almost always sadness. For no apparent reason.

I don't know what's there during this time of day, not sure why those moments should come at this hour - around 4pm to 5pm, when people are supposed to be relaxing after the day's work and the world is preparing for sleep. It especially happens when time is passing slowly, during those moments when I'm not occupied with any worldly stuff or any task I'm supposed to finish.

These episodes used to come frequently years ago when I was still in the province - maybe because back then, I always had a lot of time to think about stuff, about life in general. Fast forward to the present, my time is usually occupied by work, by the internet, and by many other supposedly grown-up things. And, I often feel like in a hurry; time has become a luxury these days - I often miss the slow days I used to enjoy in the province many years ago. Life was simple, satisfaction came about easily, and I had no problem appreciating even the smallest stuff.

It's different now. I have less time in my hands. And, moments like the one I mentioned don't come as often. But, when they do, the impact is the same. I still could not pinpoint where the emotion is coming from, but it's there. Sometimes, I think, it could be the sadness brought about by unfulfilled dreams, triggered by regrets over things I've failed to do, all buried in my subconscious. Sometimes, I wonder, could it be emptiness trying to surface? Those empty spaces in the soul that I've tried to fill up with things and ideas that I thought would suffice to complete my being? Could it be those emotions of sadness that I've tried to bury underneath masks of smile and courage and indifference, all piled up together to haunt me every time an opportunity, an opening in my consciousness, comes up? That could be it, or many others.

Moments like this - they come out of nowhere and they often surface during vulnerable hours. But, as much as these moments often leave me confused, wondering, bothered... Looking back, these are among the moments in my life that have made me feel most alive.

I Am Complete In God.

Complete

by Parachute Band

Here I am, Oh God

I bring this sacrifice

My open heart

I offer up my life

I look to You, Lord

Your love that never ends

Restores me again

Chorus:

So I lift my eyes to You Lord

In Your strength will I break through Lord

Touch me now

Let Your love fall down on me

I know Your love dispels all my fears

And I will be complete in You

Here I am, Oh God

I bring this sacrifice

My open heart

I offer up my life

I look to You, Lord

Your love that never ends

Restores me again

Chorus:

So I lift my eyes to You Lord

In Your strength will I break through Lord

Touch me now

Let Your love fall down on me

I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord

And by faith I will walk on, Lord

Then I'll see

Beyond my Calvary one day

And I will be complete in You

Ending:

I will be complete in

I will be complete in You

It's Not Possible To Be Friends With An Ex.

... While one of you still harbors romantic feelings towards the other.

I've always envied people who were able to remain friends with their ex, and I've always aimed to do the same. I only had two formal romantic relationships in the past, the first being experimental (the kind that you get into just to see how being in a relationship would be like) and the second being a real one, lasting five years and five months. 

When both relationships ended, I thought it was possible to remain friends with Ex1 and Ex2, especially that both endings went well. I tried to salvage the friendship, but it was not easy. 

It was disastrous with the first, and almost all attempts to reconnect resulted in me being frustrated every time the person would end up asking for another chance and doing all other sorts of emotional torture. In the end, I decided to stop being nice and to ignore the person altogether.

But I thought it would be different with the second, as we had something more than romantic relationship - we had friendship. And I still care about him, though not the romantic kind of care. I want him to succeed. I want him to be happy. I want him to have a good life. And I really want to keep him as a friend. But, as it turned out recently, I think it would be another failed attempt.

So what do you do when you want to be friends with an ex but the ex can't move on? No matter how much you want to keep the friendship, there are times when the only option left is to let go.

Dear God.

Thank you for loving me, imperfect that I am.
Thank you for saving me in the cross.
And thank you for continuously blessing me,
Even though I fail you constantly.

I may not always understand You,
I may not always hear Your voice,
I may not always pay attention,
But know that I love You so.

I try hard to do Your will, Lord,
But I always end up following my desires.
Forgive me,
Your child is weak.

Enlighten me, Lord -
When I go the wrong path,
Lead me back.
When I become stubborn in my ways,
Knock me down, make me stumble, make me fall,
Until I realize my mistakes and I turn back to You.

I cannot do this on my own,
And I need your guidance and your light.

There are times when I don't know right from wrong,
And I continue to do wrong even though I desire to do right.
During these instances, Lord, please don't lose patience with me.
Please continue to pull me back until You win me over.

Everything I do, Lord,
I offer to You.
My victory is Yours.
My failures are Yours.
My joy is Yours.
My pain is Yours.
I lift up and entrust everything to You, Lord.

My life is for Your glory.

Fear Can Mean Love.

I'm not sure about what I feel, but right now there is one thing that I know:

That I'm scared. 

I read the post. And I'm not sure, but I think it's about you. And if it is, that only means it isn't over yet. Yes, you told me several times it's over, at least on your part. But in all honesty, I did not quite buy that - maybe because I've always believed you can never be totally over a person who had been a very important part of your life in the past. There will always be something left for that person. And if the other person has the same emotions left, the temptation to get back together will always be there. All that's needed is an opening, even just the slightest chance, even just the smallest ray of light. And I guess that post, it's an opening, a chance, a ray of light. 

I'm not sure about what I feel, but I know I'm scared.

If you see that opening, what would you do? Would you be tempted to go back and give it another shot? Would you realize that the present is all just a waste, that it was really just a way to get back at your past? I've never really admitted this to myself, but all this time this thought has been in my subconscious - I've always wondered whether what we have is just your form of revenge to someone who has hurt you in the past, that this is just to show the person that you can move on. I'm too proud to admit that this thought bothers me, that this is one of my fears, but it does bother me and it is one of my fears. Once I asked you to meet her again without me with you, just to see whether you still had feelings for the person. I guess I wanted to be sure that you've really moved on, that whatever we have is for real. But you refused. I had three thoughts running in my mind back then - one, that you refused because you really wanted me to be with you on that occasion; two, that you refused because you were afraid to be tempted again and to fall under the person's spell if you go there alone, so you needed me beside you; and three, that you wanted me there as a trophy to show around and let the person know that you've moved on. I ignored those thoughts and buried them in my subconscious, and there they've stayed since then. Until now, I still wonder. And I guess, as long as we're together, I'll always have these thoughts with me. And every time something would come up, I would be scared.

I know I'm scared, but does that mean I love you?

I think I know the answer. I think I knew it all along. I think I do. I just could not admit it to myself yet because I could not go with this, not just yet, until I have everything in my life all sorted out. But what about the fear? What about these bothering thoughts? I guess they're all part of the things I would have to deal with when I finally decide to go with this. After all, your past will always be part of your life.

The Mind Can Be Doubtful, But The Heart Has Certainty.

We can argue with the mind and all its reasons. But, most often, even as we present all sorts of argument with the mind, we already know the final decision that we are going to make - and that decision comes from the heart. Most often, the heart knows right from the start.

The Only Opinion Of You That Is Important, Is God's.

Focus on living your life, 
and let the opinions of others be what they are.

A very timely reminder from Facebook's 'God Wants You To Know'.

We Can't Live Double Lives.

Especially not two opposite lives. Because opposites cancel each other out. And what are you left with? That nothingness called chaos, confusion, and uncertainty. And it's no way to live.

Faith Is Most Beautiful When Shared.

Today is Palm Sunday. And no, I am not an avid participant in church traditions like this one. But, this morning while in church, I saw all these people waving their palm leaves during the blessing and I was deeply touched by their exercise of faith. I do not fully understand the significance of events like this (although I know they are done to commemorate significant events in the past) and maybe many of the people in the church are like me - they also do not fully understand church traditions. And yet they still believe. Because that is faith. You know it, feel it, in your heart - and you know it's for real. Yes, everything you believe in is supported by concrete facts - the bible and all the accounts of apostles. Yet more than this, the feeling alone is enough. This morning, amid all those people waving their palm leaves for blessing, I experienced one of the most beautiful faith experiences. I felt unity. I felt camaraderie. I felt love. It felt good to be with people who believe like I do.

And then this afternoon, I joined our caring group in an outreach to a home for the aged. This one is not a church tradition but a product of the church, faith in action. I was with a friend and we had a great time spent with the elderly. We ate with them, played games with them, heard them sing, sang with them, and danced with them. Again, it was a concrete expression of faith shared with people who believe. We came from different backgrounds, and some of us barely knew each other. But when we were there, that did not matter. What mattered was us, the elderly, and the mission we set out to do. And it was successful! It felt great seeing the grandparents enjoy themselves.

Faith is deeply personal, yes; it's a relationship between the person and God. However, sharing it with others is one of the greatest experiences one can have in life.